Dr. Coach Love’s Red Flag

   Checklist for Emotional Cheating

                               There are no tests for emotional cheating. The red flags below can be used as guidelines.

           A build up of these behaviors with an opposite sex person can develop into marital neglect–at the very least.

                                                                        ARE YOU……???

____ 1. Secrets: Hiding evidence of contact with or

             the identity of the other person?


____2. Confiding/Complaining: Violating partner confidence

           by discussing or sharing marital problems/ issues

           with this other party?


____ 3. Repetitive Contacts: Personally communicating

            through phone calls, voicemail, e-mail, text messaging, etc. –

            usually concealing contact from your partner or deleting records?


____ 4. Getting Together: Having a private get-together

             for two or making sure to sit next to the person

             at a group gathering?


____ 5. Private Disclosures: Revealing intimate life details,

             feelings, hopes, and dreams–that even your partner does not know?


____ 6. Special Efforts: Taking a specific path to be sure to

             “run into” him/her; dressing for the day with the thought

             in mind of seeing him/her; or doing what is pleasing to him/her?


____ 7. Fantasy: Cherishing hopeful thoughts

                                about a future with this person?


____ 8. The Sense of Attraction/Tension:  

                                    You know what that is?!?



If you recognize any of these 8 signs in your behavior (or as a recipient), think about a serious self and relationship examination. Apply your relationship values and committments. You are probably risking your marital health or intimate committed relationship. Are you prepared to chance it?





MORE INFO: Posts- Pts1 to 5: 3-24-08, 3-25-08, 3-31-08,

                      4-02-08 and 4-05-08, 4-12-08


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©       Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D.  All rights reserved.  Reprint with permission.    

                           Contact  DrCoachLove@Centurytel.net  for permissions. 






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