Couples Love Decathlon Directions
Planning Your Love Decathlon
- Make a copy for each partner of the Couples Love Decathlon Event Record.
- Each partner marks their own list with—
- two event categories that are strengths (S)
- two that may be difficult (D)
- two that are valued most as a recipient (V)
- Share the choices. These are both touchstones and a wish list.
- Both partners separately will select romantic and intimate behaviors for each event category to be completed during the Couples Love Decathlon.
- Examples supplied may be used, but customized activities are encouraged.
- Complete your Couples Love Decathlon IN 48 HOURS!
Opening Ceremony
- Partners will meet at the agreed starting time to renew their commitment to participating in all of the event categories during the decathlon.
- Each will agree to use the Event Categories List and check off completed categories.
- The Event Categories List is not for measuring competition, but to record romantic and intimate behaviors completed, for later review and discussion.
Participating in Events
- Each partner begins independently to work through his/her list and related activities. It is not necessary to be side-by-side throughout the decathlon.
- Remember to choose an activity in each category that will feel romantic and intimate for your partner, not just for you.
- The events can be structured or not— take turns, at random, complete in no particular order—just be sure to finish everything in time.
- Be careful and not make your chosen events more about money and expense. Spending a lot of money can tend to distort the romantic and intimate experience of the decathlon.
Closing Ceremony
- Huddle and cuddle at the agreed conclusion to review all events in your Couples Love Decathlon.
- Share your feelings about this experience and the impact on your relationship.
- Seal the experience with a kiss or whatever special demonstration of your love connection is stirring inside both partners.
When you have finished your first decathlon
in romantic and intimate behavior, plan another one.
Each couple who completes the Couples Love Decathlon will have a story to tell about their unique experiences.
Many of the decathlon events will spill over and can become spontaneous habits in your daily life.
Repeat your Couples Love Decathlon on a regular basis as often as needed or desired.
And, what the heck, share your story, suggestions, and questions with Dr. Coach Love.
I’d love to hear from you at Patt@HireCoach.com.
Event Categories and Examples
___ Event Category #1: Food
Examples-find a fun recipe online that your partner loves and cook it yourself or as a team, bake a cake that says, ‘I love you’, pick up a special treat for your partner like a candy bar, tofu snacks, or an item from the health food store, prepare hot cocoa or a special beverage and serve it…
____ Event Category #2 Memory Lane
Examples-scan a favorite couple photo in as your screensaver, recall a fond story of your earlier years together, alternate posting fun photos on your bathroom mirror, play a game of ‘do you remember …’, create a new mini memory moment…
____ Event Category #3 Favors
Examples-with a positive and caring attitude wash your partner’s car, pick up the dry cleaning, pick up his socks, clear up her dishes…
____ Event Category #4 Touch
Examples-find what is satisfying to your partner and offer it- such as a massage, back scratch, hug, holding hands, arm around, a personal pedicure or manicure…
____ Event Category #5 Humor and Fun
Examples-flirt, tease, tell a funny story, share a humorous observation, joke around, be silly, let loose, horse around, games, smile, laugh…
____ Event Category #6 Dream Out Loud and Share of Yourself
Examples-express your feelings, thoughts, flashes, bright ideas, hopes, goals…
____ Event Category #7 Appreciate and Notice
Examples-turn your positive inside thoughts outside into positive communication such as, “I really admire the way you…”, “I like it when you…”, “I always appreciate how you…”, “I enjoy watching you…”, “I think you are a great partner when you…”…
____ Event Category #8 Surprise
Examples-loving text message or voice mail, thoughtful note left in the car, candy mint left in a sock, shaving cream message, use your imagination to let your partner know that you’re thinking about your relationship…
____ Event Category #9 Sacrifice and Let Go
Examples-lovingly let your partner have his/her way on something such as dinner choice, movie pic, when to leave, whether to go… just because…
____ Event Category #10 The Wild-Card
Examples-Choose to do something that has special meaning to your relationship such as returning to the place that you met, renting your first movie ever together, playing your partner’s favorite song, finding a special book they’ve been seeking…
Q&A LINK—http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/2009/04/10/relationships-and-marriage-sex-feelings-and-intimacy/
EVENT RECORD—http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/quizzes2/couples-love-decathlon-event-record/
Copyright 2009 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
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