I was upset to learn recently our dear friends were getting divorced. I did not even know they were having problems. I hear he found an old girlfriend through social media and had been posting to her for months. His wife discovered the contact and learned they were planning on meeting. He says it was innocent. She feels because he kept it a secret he cheated on her and she’s ready to file for divorce. I think they are throwing their marriage away over nothing. My husband disagrees. Should they try to get some help first?
I agree that too many people today throw away relationships which have the potential to grow through work and commitment. In pre-technology days, many people who may have left their marriage IF they had found someone to run away with, instead stayed and worked on their marriages successfully.
Today that low committed group has an easy exit card through cultivating new and re-cultivating lost friendships online.
Real life has common parts – – bills, work, stress, kids, etc. Those commitments consume energy, motivation, and time in marriages and other established unions. The original excitement and newness may have dimmed and not been updated and refreshed. Relationships gone stale—which are neglected or face challenges— cannot compete with the fantasy created by those absorbing and addicting social media connections.
It seems easy and convenient to give up and move on to the next relationship—– which is in the fantasy stage.
- Are we developing into a generation of “serial connectors”—-people who bail out at the first hint of discord or difference when they ‘connect’ with a readymade ‘soul mate’ on line?
- Has perfect compatibility without muss or fuss become a requirement for relationship commitment?
- Are we foolish to allow ourselves to be seduced by ‘grass is greener relationships’ and risk losing everything of value in our present lives?
There is help available.
What do you think? Check out Part 2 for discussion and tips.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Dr. Coach Love
PS–I invite your push back of experiences and comments. Tell me what’s on your mind.
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