Husband Complains about Flirting- Part 4

By Dr. Coach Love 

What is behind your husband’s feelings and reactions to your flirting? As we are discussing in Parts 1-3, there are several explanations, many may have to do with your peer and social group. Review the earlier discussion as needed and continue with question number five.


If you are a brilliant rose in a room full of thorny women, your attractiveness could be driving the insecurity of many in the room, including your husband.

Consider the possibility that your looks are working against you in your social setting. While I do not suggest that you “ugly down” (any more than I suggest smart women dumb down), increase your sensitivity to your impact on the group. Your impact may not be all that lovely. And, by the way, if you secretly value that attention, try to recognize how you may add to the beyond friendliness of the attention you receive from men. 


If your husband is more attractive AND successful than the other men in the room, the attention you receive may represent a type of competition. The other men could feel competitive toward him and demonstrate that by trying to capture your attention. From the other angle, if your husband is highly competitive and insensitive, he could be setting you up as a trophy wife, illustrating his sense of competitiveness.


If one of you is ordinary looking, while the other one has a GQ or Cosmo look, perceptions of excessive flirting can be seriously skewed. This dynamic can establish a territorial and an ego issue at the same time. Because of the GQ/Cosmo thing going on, one partner is accustomed to handling a lot of attention while the other may feel the need to defend “marital turf”. 

What do you think? Check back for Questions 8-10. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 


Dr. Coach Love


 v      I invite your comments below.

v      E-mail your relationship coaching questions to

v      Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,

            brevity, clarity, and general interest.

v      Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog. This blog is not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you suspect any mental health problems, please seek immediate direct professional services as appropriate.

v      Check out relationship coaching services at

 ©       Copyright 2010 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D.  All rights reserved.            Contact for permissions.

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About drcoachlove

Dr. Coach Love is the author of the multiple award-winning book, The Marriage Whisperer: Tips to Improve Your Relationship Overnight, published by MSI Press, a traditional publisher in California.

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