Teen Discipline: Piercing and Other Challenges- Part 4
by Dr. Coach Love
In Part I, I suggested that, as in most interpersonal problems, your family is experiencing a conflict of rights. I asked 10 questions for you to consider regarding your family values. After you have worked through all questions, think about these potential outcomes.
Depending on your relationship, values, and personalities involved, many outcomes are possible if you persist in only allowing him to remain in your home if he does not do the piercing. Thinking ahead further, what do you imagine you would feel and do under the following selected outcomes? What is an acceptable result for you?
1. He says, “OK / You’re right / I agree.” (Or yes, you can tell me what to do with my body while I am here. I won’t pierce (or other issue) until I move out.)
2. He believes your threats and says, “I don’t like it, but I’ll comply because I don’t want to move out.”
3. You scare him with your threats and he meekly backs down. Things seem the same.
4. You break his will and he quietly complies. Your relationship comes distant.
5. You have a huge fight. He stays and doesn’t pierce, but begins to keep secrets from you and does not share his life.
6. He pierces and stays. No further word is spoken by anyone about his moving.
7. He moves out, pierces, and refuses all contact with you.
8. He pierces and you put him out. He can’t make it on his own and asks to return.
9. He moves out and pierces. He makes less than successful progress with his life and does not fulfill his dreams, but remains independent.
10. He pierces. You tell him to leave. He resists/stalls in moving out/won’t leave. (Do you get law-enforcement involved? Become forceful? Back down?).
11. He pierces. You put him out. He’s too immature to handle it, and gets into trouble (or worse).
12. Other outcome:________________________________________________.
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What do you think about this range of potential outcomes?
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Can you spot or predict the likely outcomes for your situation?
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In the face of potentially negative outcomes, is it worth the risk to force this particular issue?
Check back for more discussion.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/2-find-it-fast/
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
brevity, clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog. This blog is not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you suspect any mental health problems, please seek immediate direct professional services as appropriate.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2009 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Contact DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com for permissions.
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