Teen Discipline: Piercing and Other Challenges- Part 3
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing from Parts 1 and 2, here are questions 6 through 10 for parents to work through together before making a discipline decision.
6. Do you feel you can handle your conscience if things go wrong for him?
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Avoid any temptation to hide behind, “Well, it’s his choice.”
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Remember, he’s the adolescent and you are the adult
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It is also your choice on how far to go in exerting your opinions/values on him in this clash of wills and rights.
7. In good conscience, can you surrender your parenting/relationship
opportunities when he is 18?
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Note that you may possibly lose future opportunities to influence him, particularly if the situation turns ugly.
8. Do you believe that when influence and persuasion (or begging and pleading) do not foster your adolescent’s compliance with your opinion/values that negative parental responses are either OK or justified ?
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Be sure you know whether it is acceptable to you to apply negative consequences (punishments), emotional manipulation, family pressure, threats, blackmail, verbal abuse, or worse.
9. What if the clash was about loud music? Clothing style? Hair? Grades? Friends? Drinking?
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The potential clash list with adolescents is endless.
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Think about whether you pick your battles — as they say.
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Remember, with adolescents you must first model respecting their rights in order to have a chance for your rights to be respected. Isn’t that only appropriate since YOU are the adults?
10. How have any previous clashes been resolved?
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This history sets the stage for both your credibility and how strongly he will hold his ground.
What do you think? Check back for more discussion.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/2-find-it-fast/
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v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
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v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog. This blog is not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you suspect any mental health problems, please seek immediate direct professional services as appropriate.
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© Copyright 2009 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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