Teenagers and Parenting Out of Control? Part 3

By Dr. Coach Love

 

If you are just joining this discussion, please get caught up by reviewing Parts 1 and 2. 

Here is the discussion of #1 of 7 parent coaching guidelines for you to consider as a baseline for respectful parenting:

 

1)   ADOPT A REALISTIC MODEL OF PARENTING

• Ideal parenting seldom is possible—family life is complex: dual income, single parents, shared custody, step-parents, bi-nuclear families, blended families, limited income, and other family forms.

• Many parents hold themselves to impossible standards—-to please their own parents and meet their standards maybe???

• Perfect parents do not exist.

• Perfect children do not exist.

• Recognize your child may not adopt your values or goals.

• You can firmly guide, instruct, correct, and role model,  but not “make” or force your child do anything—unless you are prepared to remove all limits and engage in illegal acts of physical violence (intended as discipline) or abusive behavior such as intimidation, yelling, or emotional control.

• You can teach a value, but you do not control what your child learns or does.

• If your child behaves badly, it does not mean “you let” him/her. They made a choice and did not hear, understand, accept, or believe in your directions/values.

• Parents cannot take unlimited responsibility for all of their child’s behavior—good and bad. If parents do, it may discourage the child from owning his failures and successes and, therefore, not learn from them.

• You do your best until you learn how to parent better.

 

Do you have a realistic model for parenting? Ask yourself why or why not. Read on and check back for tips 2-7.

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

 

Regards,

Dr. Coach Love

 

MORE INFO LINKS: http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/2-find-it-fast/

 

v   I invite your comments below.

v   E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.

v   Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,

            brevity, clarity, and general interest.

v   Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog. This blog is not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you suspect any mental health problems, please seek immediate direct professional services as appropriate.

v   Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.

 

 

©    Copyright 2009 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D.  All rights reserved.

            Contact DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com for permissions.