Parenting: Kids Cleaning Up-Part 2
By Dr. Coach Love
In Part 1, we began the discussion about handling parenting when mother and father approach it from different or opposite angles. While both methods may produce compliance, sometimes parents give up on pursuing compliance and do the cleanup themselves. After all, it can be quicker and easier. But is it a good parent quality to settle for making things easier and quicker for parents or to consistently teach life skills and responsibility to children? Probably both are appropriate at times. What are your values?
“Better” parenting approaches will usually take more time and energy. However, the end result will be creating the opportunity for teaching additional life lessons and relationship skills. Spending more time can lead to a more in-depth outcome.
One of the most universal methods to get kids to clean up after themselves is the dreaded ‘L’ word—LISTS. I know that making lists can be a royal pain for many adults. I can even hear some of you saying, “We shouldn’t have to do that. We are the parents and should just be able to tell them and they obey.” Does that really work for you? For many, the answer is no. If your preferred method doesn’t work— it doesn’t work. Try something different or retry a method with a different attitude and more persistence— like a list.
Most adults have well formulated opinions about lists and the value of making them. Are you a meticulous list maker or list avoider? Are your lists detailed? Do you make mental lists? Create shopping lists? To-do lists? Depending on your viewpoint, you may be more or less open to the idea of the regular practice of lists. Nevertheless, list making is a life skill. List can be a useful tool to improve compliance with kids cleaning up after themselves and for chores in general.
But— not all kids respond to the same approach from parents. And even the same approach from one parent will work— while it will be unsuccessful when used by the other parent. In every family with multiple children, it is common for individual kids to respond differently to parenting. There are also many ‘high maintenance’ kids who seem to require more highly focused—or intense— parenting.
In Part 3 of this series, I will talk about the special challenges for families with multiple and high maintenance kids.
What do you think? Check back for more options.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
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