Child Discipline: Spanking and Yelling Part 4
by Dr. Coach Love
It may be wise for you to rethink your parenting practice of relying on yelling and spanking as discipline while your child is young. Review Parts 1-3 for more details. This is particularly true when you consider the overall long-term ineffectiveness combined with the potential long-term negative impacts. You cut off loving communication with your child and lose an opportunity to build influence. You end up relying on a ‘bully’ or ‘fear’ factor instead to carry your message. Is that what you intend?
There are numerous excellent books and models for behavior shaping and disciplining of young children—systems, stars, and charts. Many of these behavior plans can be effective as an alternative to yelling and swatting–if both parents work hard and are consistent. However, when frustrated in the moment (or after a few futile attempts to discipline), it may seem easiest and quickest to yell, swat, and intimidate to interrupt bad behavior. This short-term “solution” will likely generate a long-term aftermath of unnecessary problems.
Here are the first 3 of 12 basic coaching tips, which demonstrate positive Rules of Engagement in parenting:
1. Challenge the behavior not the goodness of the child.
· Emphasize that the behavior is a bad choice and that sometimes good kids choose to do bad things.
· They don’t have the huge task of changing who they are because they are already good people.
· They only need to change what they choose to do.
2. Focus on the positive.
· “I am glad you completed your homework” rather than “You would have had it done earlier if you had not fooled around so much”.
3. Reinforce good behavior as your primary effort
· “That’s great that you put your backpack in your room.”
· “Picking up your coat would be a good thing too.”
In Part V, I will continue with #4 through #12.
Check my blog again more discussion. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Parenting- http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/2-find-it-fast/
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