Exercises to Increase Romance and Sex

by Dr. Coach Love


We’ve been married 15 years and still love each other. We agree our marriage  could use more romance and sex. I miss the romance more and he misses the sex more. I usually get in a sexy mood after he’s been romantic and talkative. He gets talkative and emotional after we have sex.  Sometimes we argue or get stubborn about whose needs get met first. Any tips or exercises to increase romance, communication, and emotional and sexual intimacy?


You two are on the right track to get ahead in addressing your individual needs before intimacy becomes a significant problem. You grow apart quickly when you don’t pay attention.


Intimacy is the feeling of closeness and connection with another person. Trust also thrives under these conditions. There are different types of intimacy, but most couples recognize feeling intimate through emotional or sexual sharing.  Romantic behavior, getting attention, and ongoing personal communication usually add to the experience of intimacy. As you describe, you move toward sexual closeness and the desire to make love after feeling emotionally connected and he moves toward emotional closeness after feeling sexually connected through making love.


Other couples can interchange the two types of intimacy, which help keeps the flow of both kinds strong. The couple bond strengthens with a regular flow of intimacy, as it is perceived by each partner independently and together. Plainly stated, it sounds like sex isn’t just about body sex for your husband. Sex is about making love and feeling connected and desired. And as for you, having sex feels like making love only when you feel valued and emotionally connected to your husband in the moment. (Now, of course, sometimes monogamous sex is just sex. It serves a different and legitimate pleasure purpose— not just meeting the lowlife needs of a horn dog villain.)


Marital neglect occurs when spouses fail to make time to nurture couple intimacy, both sexually and emotionally, in ways that meet the unique needs of each partner. Neglect is a powerful destroyer of marriages and relationships. When couples allow other life priorities to frequently over trump the importance of their relationship, the basis for stable family life and general happiness weakens. A major contributor to marital dissatisfaction and destruction is taking each other and your relationship for granted.


There are a number of excellent marital enrichment and renewal programs available. I developed the Couples Love Decathlon from my experiences as a licensed professional marriage therapist for over 20 years. The Couples Love Decathlon is designed to meet the needs of marital partners for a fun, quick, and easy exercise to infuse zing back into your relationship in 48 hours.



The pamphlet has complete directions for having your own decathlon.



Contact me and tell me your Decathlon story. I’d love to hear it!


That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.



Dr. Coach Love


MORE INFO LINKS:  http://familyandrelationshipcoachblog.com/2-find-it-fast/



v      I invite your comments below.

v      E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.

v      Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,

            brevity, clarity, and general interest.

v      Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog. This blog is not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you suspect any mental health problems, please seek immediate direct professional services as appropriate.

v      Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.



©       Copyright 2009 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D.  All rights reserved.

            Contact DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com for permissions.



About drcoachlove

Dr. Coach Love is the author of the multiple award-winning book, The Marriage Whisperer: Tips to Improve Your Relationship Overnight, published by MSI Press, a traditional publisher in California. www.TheMarriageWhisperer.net

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