Finding Meaningful Retirement- Part 3
by Dr. Coach Love
In Part 1, I expressed the view that numerous resources are available to provide excellent checklists of retirement activities. I approached your retirement question from a different perspective— your marital relationship. For Part 2, I talked about Retirement Couch Potatoes and depression. Check out those discussions.
As a milestone, entering the retirement years creates unlimited possibilities for new experiences and discoveries—-but only if you seek them. Retirement enriches a marriage if you seek new experiences and discoveries together.
One approach to creating a retirement vision that will suit both of you is to do a marriage inventory. It would look something like this:
1. What has been the primary strength of your marriage through the years? How can you build on those strengths?
2. In the beginning, what did you do together that was enjoyable? Could that activity be resurrected in some way?
3. How much time do you want to spend together as a couple? How much individual time is desired?
4. How strong are your compromise and negotiation skills with each other? Discuss your successes through the years.
5. Is volunteering and community service work an area of activity on which you agree?
6. Are there any old grudges or nitpicky habits that each needs to let go?
7. What are your values?
è Is leisure or productivity more important?
è Is it important to focus on grandparenting or other family relationships?
è How will you spend your money?
è What new things would you like to learn?
è How will you keep healthy and active?
Enlist your husband’s cooperation in the marital inventory above. Working on this project together can build a foundation for your retirement life plan. Use the disagreements and discussion as beginning template for designing your relationship for a successful retirement.
As an option, you can complete the Marriage and Retirement Quiz on this site. When you finish, you can go to the checklists of retirement activities with your marriage inventory/quiz in hand. Your answers and compromises will guide your choices consistent with your vision together
If you find that you struggle doing this together, consider seeking the professional services of a marriage and family therapist or relationship telephone coach.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Archives- 11/27/08, 12/01/08
Lists- Use of Free Time Arguments
Quizzes- Marriage and Retirement Quiz
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
brevity, clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Contact DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com for permissions.
