Finding Meaningful Retirement- Part 1
by Dr. Coach Love
My husband retired not long ago. Since his retirement, all he wants is to be a couch potato. That seems boring to me. We are both in our 60s and I am eager to do lots of different things before our health fails us. What can you suggest for us?
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Books, magazines, organizations, and tons of information are available with checklists of ways to spend your time, both leisurely and productively in retirement years. Go on line, to organizations such as AARP, local groups, volunteer groups, and similar resources. But I think you already know that does not solve your concern.
You are looking for something else. My guess is you do not want a ‘retired’ life, but rather a LIFE ENCORE. Your question also seems to be more about your marital relationship and the individual differences that have become important between you now as you are retired.
How do you work together, enjoy each others company, and stay connected emotionally during this “retired’ phase of life? Or do you need to reconnect as a couple following stressful years of a fast-track family and career path?
Finding a marriage fit during retirement years is one of the major life cycle transitions we must successfully negotiate. If you are a career homemaker, you might find that your husband has now invaded ‘your’ space. His retirement stirs up as much a transition for you as him. However, even if you also have recently retired from the work force, creating a retirement lifestyle that meets both of your needs is an important developmental milestone. Your senior years do not have to be boring.
Does your husband share your discontent with how his retirement has begun? If not, are you prepared to design your retirement years without him in order to satisfy your needs and find meaning? Or how hard are you prepared to work to enlist his participation in planning your retirement together?
Check back for more discussion in Part 2 about Retirement Couch Potatoes and in Part 3 for creating a retirement vision. I will provide a marriage inventory to help guide you.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Archives-12/01/08, 12/11/08
Lists- Use of Free Time Arguments
Quizzes- Marriage and Retirement Quiz
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v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.
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v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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