Handling College Student Drinking Part 5
by Dr. Coach Love
This is one in a series of several options for parents dealing with underage drinking. For the full discussion, review Parts 1-4 and return for Part 6.
6. Keep the Perspective on Him
Were you an underage drinker? Did you come to any harm because of it? Or was your first drink a legal one? Whatever your choices and outcome, keep them in perspective. That was your life, in your setting, in your time. This is your adolescent’s life, not yours. Do not over or under identify with your kid on this issue. Remain the parent.
While there is no such thing as ‘responsible underage drinking’, there are many underage drinkers who handle alcohol use in the same way that responsible adult social drinkers do. They get into ‘no extra trouble’ because of drinking. And, of course, college students can be engaged in abusive and dangerous binge alcohol patterns without being addicted. Is there a family history of chemical dependency? Might his drinking be alcoholism? Which type of underage drinker represents your son?
Whether his drinking habits are similar to responsible, non-addicted adults, or are abusive, dangerous, and/or addictive, apply your values and judgments to HIS situation, and not place too much reliance on your underage drinking history or abstinence. Keep HIS drinking in the correct perspective. Basing your parenting of him primarily on YOUR experiences will likely leave you shortsighted in your approach.
Become clear about what type of drinker your son has become and use that information to structure your parenting decisions.
(NOTE: The issue of family heredity and alcoholism is beyond the scope of this blog. Please contact a professional mental health addiction specialist if this is your concern.)
Check for the last part of the discussion. What do you think?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Archives- 5/13/08, 5/18/08, 5/19/08, 5/23/08,
11/02/08, 11/06/08, 11/14/08,11/20/08
Lists- 7 Intervention Tips for Underage Drinking,
9 Prevention Tips for Underage Drinking
Quizzes- Teen Drinking Choices,
Underage Drinking
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