When Are Work Friends Too Friendly? Part 5
by Dr. Coach Love
In Part 1, 2, 3, & 4, I indicated that no one else could advise you what to do if you discover or suspect your spouse to be emotionally cheating. There are many choices possible. Here’s another one.
Option C- Confront the “friend” directly.
1. What is the best outcome you could imagine by confronting her?
2. Do you have enough self-control to have a chance at accomplishing anything worthwhile? Or will you act badly and risk triggering an unproductive argument?
3. Are you expecting her to apologize and agree to ‘dump’ your husband?
4. How will you know if you get the truth from her? Or will she tell you something you really don’t want to know?
5. Will her response to you decrease your distress? Or will she act badly?
6. Do you believe that being confronted by you will cancel out her loyalty to your husband?
7. Will she get defensive, become afraid, and feel cornered?
Carefully consider your answers to these 7 questions. Again, there may be situations in which confronting the “friend” may be a viable option. But she likely feels she owes you nothing and may have an unrealistic picture of who you are. However, if you have an established relationship with her and feel she violated your trust, that is clearly a separate issue. But why confront her first? Doesn’t your husband owe you greater loyalty than she does? Isn’t your marriage a more important relationship to resolve?
But the bottom line here is that if you take this approach, you avoid or delay facing your husband. You will have to talk to him about it eventually. Show respect both for yourself and for him (even though this may be difficult) by talking to him first. Limit the involvement of all others as much as you can. Make this between you and him.
What do you think? Check back for more options.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: POLLS- Emotional Cheating-Work Friends
Archives- 3/24/08, 3/25/08, 3/31/08, 4/2/08, 4/5/08,
4/12/08, 7/13/08, 7/18/08, 10/18/08, 10/23/08
Lists-Sexual Affair and Healing
Quizzes- Emotional Cheating Quiz
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