When Are Work Friends Too Friendly? Part 4
by Dr. Coach Love
In Part 1 & 2, I indicated that no one else can advise you what to do if you discover or suspect your spouse to be emotionally cheating and asked you to understand where the line is between ‘friendly’ and ‘too friendly’ . There are many choices on how to respond. Check back to Part 3 for Option A.
Option B- Wait to confront him about the e-mails. Ask him questions to which you already know the answers and see if he will lie to you.
1. Are you comfortable with practicing deceit in order to detect deceit?
2. How do you expect honesty in your marriage when you are also willing to lie?
3. How will you know when you do have the truth?
4. Does your spouse have a good memory with details?
5. Can you really expect him to remember details the way you do?
6. Will he get defensive, become afraid, and feel cornered?
7. If you ask him the same questions a few days later and receive different answers, does that mean he is lying? Or is his memory for those kinds of detail poor and he just guessed—-because you pressed him for an answer?
Consider carefully your answers to the above 7 questions. Again, there may be situations in which this option may be helpful to resolve the issue. But the bottom line here is that with this approach, you are playing an adversarial detective in your relationship. Playing games in marriage damages honesty and trust in the relationship beyond what may already be happening. Remember, you may be able to skip the drama game playing creates with a more truthful approach and avoid setting a ‘truth trap’.
In your circumstance, can you really regain trust in your relationship this way? You decide.
Come back for Part 5, where I will discuss a third option.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: POLLS- Emotional Cheating-Work Friends
Archives- 3/24/08, 3/25/08, 3/31/08, 4/2/08, 4/5/08,
4/12/08, 7/13/08, 7/18/08, 10/18/08,
10/23/08, 10//28/08
Lists-Sexual Affair and Healing
Quizzes- Emotional Cheating Quiz
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v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
brevity, clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
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