Who Needs Anger Management? Part 5
by Dr. Coach Love
As I explained previously in Parts 1-4, anger management is a small part of the total picture of emotional management. The fourth and fifth of five key skills for emotional management are—make a conscious decision of whether to express feelings and choose the appropriate language to communicate effectively your emotional message.
Just because you have feelings, does not mean you must always express them. Think about this. In “money management,” you make decisions on how, when and if to spend the money you have. How you ‘spend’ your emotions (emotional management) is also critical for a good life.
Feelings are the (connective) currency in your relationships. You “spend” your emotional energy to create relationships. Feelings create the connections between people. If you overwhelm or control the other person with your feelings, the relationship is generally unhealthy. On the opposite end, if you fail to make a sufficient emotional investment (share enough of your feelings), the connection suffers and the relationship is weak or unhealthy.
The 4th key skill for emotional management is “knowing when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.”
Both stuffing feelings and dumping feelings are at the extreme ends of emotional mismanagement and are often associated with anger problems.
The 5th key skill for emotional management is how to express feelings accurately and in the way that your listener can “get it.”
Choosing words carefully leads to successful emotional communication and builds relationships. Simply cutting loose with an emotional rush of words can be ineffective—-either overwhelming or offensive.
Emotions are key to our humanity. Management of emotions is key to relationship development and intimacy.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Archives-9/21/08, 9/26/08, 10/02/08, 10/08/08
Lists- Coming Soon
Reflections- Blow-ups and Small Stuff
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