Who Needs Anger Management? Part 4
by Dr. Coach Love
As I explained previously in Parts 1, 2, and 3, anger management is a small part of the total picture of emotional management. The second and third of five basic skills for emotional management are ‘recognize your emotions’ and ‘do not stuff or deny emotions’.
By recognizing emotions, I mean acceptance that you have feelings. After all, everybody with the brain wiring has feelings—- whether they want to or not. Symbolically, we point to our brain and say, “use your head” when we want to encourage people to think about something. We could also accurately encourage people to “use the other side of your head” when we want them to acknowledge feelings. Without getting technical, emotions come from a different part of the brain than does thinking.
The importance of recognizing and owning our feelings is simple. The more emotionally aware we become, the more we can develop the ability to choose our behavior and not act in an out of control manner. Now doesn’t that sound like a good thing?
What happens when individuals stuff or deny that they have feelings? They become cut off from their genuine selves and frequently have trouble with relationships, particularly intimate ones.
Except in the case of certain mental health disorders, we all have feelings. The only question is our awareness and intelligent use of them. People who self describe as “not being an emotional person” are usually disclosing that they are unaware or inexpressive of their emotional processes.
Again, we cannot cancel out the feeling parts of ourselves. (Some folks try to do so through drugs, alcohol, and other unhealthy means. If this describes you, please consider seeking out professional mental services immediately.)
Check back for #4 and #5 of the key skills for emotional management.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Archives-9/21/08, 9/26/08, 10/02/08, 10/14/08
Lists- Coming Soon
Reflections- Blow-ups and Small Stuff
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