Who Needs Anger Management? Part 2
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing from Part 1…. There are two basic types of anger MISmanagement, occasional big blowing-up, and routine spouting-off.
Blowing-up
Some believe that a big blow-up now and then is no big deal. After all, they claim, they don’t let most things bother them. So—- when something eventually gets to them and they let go of anger in a big-time way, they justify their behavior.
What is the problem with an occasional big blow-up? Two things.
1. Big blow-ups become disruptive to relationships and are unpleasant, unfair, and ineffective in solving problems.
2. Big blow-ups trigger others to tip toe around wondering when the next explosion will occur. Communication shuts down. Relationships change— and not for the better.
Spouting-off
Others believe that addressing every anger issue is important to get things out in the open. After all, they claim, they have a right to express their true feelings and opinions. So—-when little things occur to anger them and they let loose to routinely spout-off, they justify their behavior.
What is the problem with spouting-off? Two things.
1. Spouting-off becomes negative criticism in relationships and is unpleasant, unfair, and ineffective in solving problems.
2. Routine spouting-off triggers others to turn a deaf ear because they are tired of hearing it. Communication shuts down. Relationships change— and not for the better.
Can you see the parallel pattern? Occasional blowing-up and routine spouting-off have virtually the same negative impact on relationships. Neither method of expressing anger is healthy or positive. Either choice can lead to controlling and bossy patterns in relationships.
I say that blowing-up and spouting-off are on the same “anger nickel.” It doesn’t really matter whether you choose heads or tails. A nickel is a nickel. In this case, heads you lose and tails you lose. Your relationship loses.
Check back for more on emotional management.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Archives-9/21/08,10/02//08,10/08/08, 10/14/08
Lists- Coming Soon
Reflections- Blow-ups and Small Stuff
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