Too Much Softball- Part 2
by Dr. Coach Love
In Part 1, I describe six types of Discretionary (or leisure) Time:
|
ME or IT |
My Entertainment or Individual Time |
|
FR |
Friends |
|
XF |
Extended family |
|
MC |
Marital or Couple |
|
IF |
Immediate Family |
|
O |
Other |
|
Check back in Part 1 for descriptions of these types. |
|
When couples have repeated conflict over use of time, it usually goes back to values and priorities. Discussions and negotiations about values and priorities are always important in marriage.
But first, here’s how I see each of the types of Discretionary Time.
ME or IT—-My Entertainment or Individual Time
Typical teenagers want to spend maximum time doing exactly what they want, with whom they want, and when they want. Even with solid family relationships, it is developmentally appropriate for teens to prefer time with peers and just want to have fun—emphasis on ME and IT use of free time.
Although teens may focus on ME and IT, obligations and responsibilities to others are generally limited during the teen years. Common expectations are that adolescents will choose self-centered activities and meeting their own entertainment needs.
The generally accepted standard for adults with commitments to marriage and family is very different from expectations for teenagers. When adults devote a large portion of their discretionary time to ME or IT as teenagers frequently do, marital relationships and parenting quality usually decline.
Having a spouse who devotes too much leisure time (according to his/her spouse) satisfying his or her own needs or entertainment (ME or IT), is not what most people— who choose to marry— “sign-on for”.
ME or IT use of free time can also easily crossover into socializing with friends (FR). Check back for discussion of how hanging out with friends instead of spouse and kids may affect those relationships .
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Lists-Use of Free Time Arguments
Archives- 8-31-08, 9-6-08, 9/12/08, 9/15/08
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
brevity, clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Contact DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com for permissions.
