Control Freaks in My Life- Part 1
by Dr. Coach Love
I have two or three people in my life who always think they’re right,
never admit they’re wrong, don’t listen to anyone else, always interrupt, and
poke fun at anyone who disagrees with them. Are they “control freaks”?
They drive me nuts! How can I get them to change? How can I deal with them?
________________________________________________________________
To answer your first question, you are describing a few of the
predominant characteristics of people who are often considered to be
controlling or “control freaks.”
I have identified 7 basic types of controlling people:
1. THE INTERVENER
2. THE RIGHTEOUS
3. THE SMARTY
4. THE ATTACKER
5. THE RULER
6. THE STEAMROLLER
7. THE BUTTINSKY
I will be offering descriptions of these 7 types on this web site under
Quizzes/Lists.
Many control freaks demonstrate characteristics of more than one of
the seven basic types. Some ways are more effective than others
to deal with controlling people. The biggest temptation often becomes
to try to control them in return. That never works. Strategies can be
learned to improve your relationship, or at least cut down on the annoyance
and the impact of the controlling person.
But before changing the way you deal with any controlling person
in your life, consider these thoughts:
v Do any of the seven types of controlling people
sound like you–by chance? Even a little?
v Can you replay your memory tapes of conversations
you have with coworkers, friends, or family?
What do you hear when you do?
v Try soliciting feedback from trusted people in your life.
How do they describe you?
v Sometimes it takes a control freak to know one
(or at least a reformed control freak).
Remember, controlling behavior is intrusive and interferes with
productive, cooperative, and pleasant relationships in any setting,
personal or business. “Control freaks” are often avoided by others because
they continually show disrespect toward others. Yet, frequently, they
do not recognize their behavior as controlling.
They can be as clueless as a brick.
Whether you are dealing with “control freaks” or if you think YOU
might be a “control freak” in your business or personal relationships,
check back for tips on control freaks and watch for the related lists,
quizzes, and reflections listed below.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Lists-Control Freaks-7 Types;
Dealing with Control Freaks-9 Tips (Coming Soon);
Posts- Pt2 8/16/08, Pt3 8/22/08,& Pt4 8/25/08;
Reflections- Controlling a Control Freak;
Quizzes-Am I a Control Freak? (Coming Soon)
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
brevity, clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Contact DrCoachLove@HireCoach.com for permissions.
Be careful. The fun little name, “control freaks” sounds innocent. But control can become abuse easily.
Being careful is certainly in order. There is nothing ‘fun’ about being a control freak or dealing with one. Abusive relationship are usually based on an extreme form of control.