Relationship and Sexual Affair: Accept or Dump? Part 2
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing from Part 1… A sexual affair is a huge mistake in any relationship, but the individual has a choice of whether to accept or dump. While there are actions to consider taking in order to heal, there are also actions to avoid— whether the goal is to work on accepting an affair or ending the relationship. (See LISTS and REFLECTIONS below.)
Certainly, your values and expectations for your relationship play a big part in how you handle this relationship crisis. Remember, however, if you decide to move on, you still have emotional healing to do, or it will severely affect the trust level you will be able to achieve in future relationships.
With your own emotional welfare in mind, resist running away fast from this relationship and “dumping” her. At the other extreme, do not avoid discussing her affair. Sweeping infidelity under the rug because it is painful to discuss or produces conflict, simply continues the problem of disconnection.
If your partner is motivated and willing, work slowly and deliberately together to gain an understanding of everything — even if you feel you may walk away eventually. If you decide to stay, create and act on plans for relationship change. Manage your anger productively, and do not destroy your relationship further by targeting her abusively with either words or actions.
Creating understanding now will help you in future relationships. Your trust issues will be less affected. You can learn your role in it and how to be less vulnerable to this type of relationship problem.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Lists-Sexual Affair and Healing; Posts-Part1 7/13/08;
Reflections-Healing Affair Wounds With Time
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v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
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