Family Problems: Critical Relatives Pt3 Friday, May 2 , 2008
Predict Not Prevent Part 3
by Dr. Coach Love
After reviewing Parts 1 and 2, consider the use of coaching tips to reduce stress and adapt to visits from your critical grandparents. This is one set of options as an alternative to risking a potentially ugly confrontation. Remember, the idea is to predict not prevent –in order to reduce stress.
èDiscuss with your husband your combined standards of preparation for their visit.
èAgree on a list to be completed.
èExclude things that would be done only to please your
grandparents— unless you both agree.
èFinish your list and RELAX!
èUse your sense of humor to construct a “contest” which predicts how their criticism will play out during their visit:
· how many criticisms
· how early in the visit
· subject of the criticism
· who says something first
èUse this exercise as a playful bonding tool for you and your husband.
èEnjoy your relatives for the best of them.
èAfter the visit, compare notes.
When you reframe a situation from being “preventable and stressful” into “predictable and humorous,” you automatically change your reaction to it.
YOU HAVE CHANGED THEREFORE THE OUTCOME IS DIFFERENT.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Articles- Confrontation; Posts Pt1-4-22-08, Pt2- 4-23-08;
Reflections-Being Confrontational
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@centurytel.net.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy,
brevity, clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission.
Contact DrCoachLove@CenturyTel.net for permissions.
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