Dr. Coach Love’s Life Coaching Tips

The Launching Zone and “Adult” Kids- Part 2

by Dr. Coach Love 

Continuing from Part 1…

There are no set rules about how to handle the launching process. Negotiation, compromise, and discussion are preferred. You probably have your ideas about how you want to limit your financial commitment. And if you do not have any actual financial limitations, considers setting limits anyway as a value lesson to your child.  In either case, you do not have to discontinue all support at once.  In this new transition, you establish new boundaries and expectations effective now that he has completed his undergraduate degree.

Here are options to consider when you plan a Launching Zone Discussion:

1. Schedule a mutually agreeable time when everyone is relaxed.
2. Build a plan in advance with your facts and numbers.
3. Plug in your own personal and family values.
4. A gradual ease into this transition usually works best.
5. Encourage your child’s feelings and input in the discussion.
6. Explain your position on funding for graduate school.
7. Be kind and loving.

Reassure yourself and fortify your intentions by knowing that launching your older child is another parental task on the long list of child rearing responsibilities. We do our children no favors if we do not at least nudge the reluctant ones further on the road to adulthood.

This may help with the discussion of the financial end.  However, powerful emotions are involved in this process. Continue to be sensitive to your feelings and those of your child—

this is still your child.

Parenting lasts a lifetime.  Financial support does not.

You’ve done well with your parenting for 22 years.  You will do just fine with this transition. Take your time and relax. There are no rules. Each launching is custom designed to fit the circumstance.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Regards,

Dr. Coach Love

P.S. I have launched three– 22, 26, and 28.  All of the send-offs were different.

I am happy to report no bounce backs at this point.

Still keeping my fingers crossed.

MORE INFO LINKS:  Posts-Pt1 4-26-08;

                                   Quizzes- Kids Moving Out

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