Family Problems: Critical Relatives Pt2 Wednesday, April 23 , 2008
Predict Not Prevent Part 2
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing from Part 1… These are relatives you want in your lives. To reduce or eliminate the stress their visits generate, you can change yourselves. In the process, you and your husband will create a tighter bond with humorous shared memories of family get-togethers. Your children will witness positive role models for dealing with critical people. Depending on their ages, you may have a nonjudgmental conversation about how you are changing yourselves to “accept more fully the way grandma and grandpa are.”
Do not feel pressured to confront your grandparents again over their behavior. Under the circumstances you described, steer clear of harshly asserting your rights to be treated better. This type of confrontation has proven to be more hassle than it is worth for you.
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You are not being controlled when you choose not to confront them.
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Their control over you develops from you allowing them to trigger your stress by their behavior.
However, if sensitivity to the grandparents’ criticism is deeply embedded in your childhood emotions, professional consultation may be necessary. But first, consider coaching alternatives. Follow-up in Part 3 where I offer tips that may work for you.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Articles- Confrontation; Posts- Pt1 4-22-08; Pt3 5-2-08; Reflections-Being Confrontational
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v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
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© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission.
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