Emotionally Reasonable and
Reasonably Emotional Part 2
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing –Our dual human abilities to think and feel are equally precious. Each quality fulfills a unique role for navigating successfully in our intimate relationships. Allowing either your emotions or rationality to dominate seldom works for us very well. Just like rationality, using emotions mainly to shape our actions can also be appropriate provided we exercise some degree of logical restraint.
Example: Raw emotional expression of exuberance at sporting events may trigger painted bodies, team apparel, signs, deafening clapping and cheering. When we start throwing popcorn and beer in our excitement, well——– the consequences may not be pretty. What were we thinking???? We weren’t.
Most moments in life are best experienced through a conscious blend of expressing feelings and thoughts. Whether that blend is 50-50, 70/30, or 10/90, our deliberate application of both skills to any decision-making process will fuel best results. If you and your partner tend to be opposites on the logic/emotion continuum, you may balance each other. Nevertheless, it is healthier for you individually and as a couple to learn from the strengths of the other.
Even with personal growth, however, he will likely rely heavily logical expression and you will remain more emotionally expressive. That’s OK.
1. Your emotional expressiveness serves as a role model for your husband.
2. He can learn to identify and express his feelings more effectively.
3. His skill at applying logic under pressure is a beneficial example for you.
4. You can learn to calm your emotion and access your logical potential.
When you learn from the strengths of your partner, your relationship grows stronger. On the other hand, if you become or remain polar opposites on expression of logic and emotion (or other characteristics) , it will tend to increase criticism and relational distance between the two of you.
Does this fit? Both you and your partner can consider these coaching tips to improve your relationship:
v Practice mutual respect for individual differences.
v Seek self-improvement.
v Learn to be emotionally reasonable and reasonably emotional.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Posts- Pt1 3-13-08
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v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@centurytel.net.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy, brevity,
clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission.
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