Communication Weed #3: Being Right-Part 1
by Dr. Coach Love
I don’t understand why certain people can’t admit someone else is right. When my spouse and I discuss something and I’m right, she won’t acknowledge it. I patiently explain and re-explain with facts. She is stubborn and refuses to give me credit, admit she’s wrong, or even discuss it. How can I work this out with my wife?________________________________________________________________
You appear frustrated that she does not admit you are right. Before I address that or suggest how to work it out, let me ask you, “Why do you need to be right?”
Relationships are not about being right (or wrong for that matter).
From your side, you believe she should know or believe you are right (because you are).Therefore, she should admit it. Sounds simple. Not!
Imagine 5 possibilities from her viewpoint:
è She may disagree with you and not want to argue.
è 2. What is a discussion to you, may feel like an argument to her.
è 3. She could be offended by what she interprets as a superior, disrespectful, or know-it-all attitude coming from you.
è 4. Perhaps she is simply feeling stubborn— just like you.
è 5. When you make a conversation about right and wrong, who wants to be at the wrong end?
Any of these can account for her not openly accepting your position as right or wanting to engage in conversation with you about it.
Check out Part 2. I will begin a list of 9 Communication Weed Killers.
This is my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINLS: Posts-Pt2 3-07-08,Pt3 3-08-08; Reflections-Need to Be Right, On Being Right In Conversations
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v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
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© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission.
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