4 Types of Apology
by Dr. Coach Love
My husband and I totally disagree about apologies. If he thinks he did nothing wrong, he won’t apologize. He also believes that if you have to ask for an apology, it’s meaningless. I ask for and do not get apologies. I’m upset because it seems like he doesn’t care. I’m harboring many hurt feelings. What can we do?
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In an intimate relationship, well meant “sorry’s” are essential. Being unapologetic or unforgiving damages a relationship. Bottom line—a sincere apology is not automatically an admission of wrongdoing. It can also be a sign of respect and sensitivity.
Consider these 4 Types of Apology:
1. You made a mistake and regret it.
- Apologize to make amends.
- Take corrective actions.
2. You don’t think what you did/said was wrong, but you can tell the other person is hurt or offended by it.
- Others have a right to their feelings even when they misinterpret your intentions or if you feel they are overly sensitive.
- It’s not just their problem; it’s yours, too.
- Apologize to show respect and then clarify your intentions.
3. You empathize with someone over his/her “bad day” for which you had no responsibility.
- You want to be supportive.
- Say, “I’m sorry” to demonstrate your concern for the other’s well-being.
4. You have no idea why or how, but someone is upset with you and asked for an apology.
· Never ignore a potential apology owed especially when requested.
· Perhaps you are unaware of a miscommunication.
· Apologize and take time to discover what went wrong.
Remember: Those who never apologize are like those who always do. Both give no thought to their actions. Love doesn’t mean NEVER having to say you’re sorry. Do you agree?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
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© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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Posted by drcoachlove on Wednesday, March 5 , 2008 in Communication, feelings, Marriage, Relationships and tagged apologizes too much, apology, Communication, disagreements, feelings, hurt feelings, is never sorry, Marriage, never apologizes, Relationships, saying sorry.
[...] is a short article about 4 kinds of apology. I gather from it that you should just say sorry whether you know you should or someone else asks [...]
Apologies are a highly sujective call—whether you owe an apology or are owed one. A broad view of apology, as I suggest with the 4 types, will help you respect the feelings of others.