Is Obedience a Good Thing? Part 4
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing… In Parts 1, 2, &3, I emphasized that your son was making productive and healthy choices on important life decisions. His “disobedience” is also “noncompliance” when viewed from another angle. I offered adolescent development information, options to avoid “spitting contests,” and how to “pick battles,” while focusing on other family values/life skills like cooperation, compromise, collaboration, and negotiation. Emotional management for parents was stressed.
Disciplining adolescents becomes even more complicated when younger children are in the home. How do you shape the example your younger child observes when your adolescent disobeys? Remember, only half of the example is from your son’s behavior. The most important half of the example comes from what you say and do. Are you setting a good example? Do you as parents:
- Argue
- Raise your voice or yell
- Remain engaged in a power struggle
- Repeat yourself
- Threaten or become controlling
- Curse, name call, or demean
- Get up in his face or follow him around
- Grab, push, hit, or worse
If the above examples are observed by your children, it role models a lack of self-control and self-discipline on the part of the parents.
§ Is this a good example for your younger children?
§ Would this example of parental behavior influence an adolescent to behave better?
§ Are you willing to (or do you) behave in this way to get obedience?
§ Is that what it takes in your family?
§ What do you think?
In Part 5, I’ll continue on this topic with more thoughts.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Posts-Pt1 2-25-08, Pt2 2-26-08, Pt3 2-27-08, Pt5 3-04-08,
Pt6 3-09-08; Article-Parenting: Obedience and Disobedience; Lists-Top 10 Parenting Qualities
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@centurytel.net.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy, brevity,
clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission.
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