Is Obedience a Good Thing? – Part 3
by Dr. Coach Love
Continuing…
Many emotions are involved in the parent-child relationship. In a discipline situation with adolescents, anger, frustration, and impatience can be seriously triggered. By taking the high road of remaining in grownup emotional control mode, you can avoid incessant battles over relatively unimportant matters.
The old phrases “spitting contest” and “pick your battles” carry important messages when applied to parenting adolescents. After all, your son is getting most of the important things “right” in his life—school, drug/alcohol abstinence, job/money value—right? Yet not all of his priorities, values, and choices will likely develop to be identical to yours.
Work on getting past your anger, disappointment, and feeling disrespected when your adolescent does not do what you ask. Ego and indignance have no place in parenting!
As I write this, I keep in mind that some may take a religious objection to this perspective on obedience. Yet if a parent feels compelled to violate other values and morals (respect, kindness, love, patience, etc.) to enforce obedience, I am unsure if anything is gained. Healthy family boundaries need attention and care.
In Part 4, I will offer options on how to shape the examples parents give to younger siblings who witness difficult interactions with adolescents.
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Posts- Pt1 2-25-08, Pt2 2-26-08, Pt4 3-03-08, Pt5 3-04-08, Pt6 3-09-08 ; Article-Parenting: Obedience and Disobedience
v I invite your comments below.
v E-mail your relationship coaching questions to DrCoachLove@centurytel.net.
v Questions selected will be edited as needed to reflect privacy, brevity,
clarity, and general interest.
v Sorry, Dr. Coach Love is unable to offer any personal advice through this blog.
v Check out relationship coaching services at www.HireCoach.com.
© Copyright 2008 P.H. Pickett. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission.
Contact DrCoachLove@CenturyTel.net for permissions.
