A Permission Slip from Her- Part 3
by Dr. Coach Love
So do you really need a permission slip from her? Again, answer these two questions:
1. Is it healthy for couples to have individual leisure activities?
2. Should time and obligations with your partner (and/or children) remain a priority over leisure time alone or with others?
If neither of you answers “yes” to both questions above, this is not about permission. It questions the strength of your commitment to your relationship over your individual needs. Conversely, it may signal her lack respect for your individual differences and rights.
Often partners have different needs concerning individual leisure time. For example, one partner does not feel the need (or want to take the time) for individual activities, hobbies, or time with friends. The other seeks regular individual time—“nights out with the Boys/Girls,” twice per week softball games, Saturday golf, Pilates, scrapbooking parties, and so on.
Neither choice is wrong by itself. Partners may not accept that they are different. One may pressure the other to change and be more like them in use of leisure time. Couples must respectfully negotiate differences.
The answer is not as simple as one partner begins to take individual time or the other gives up all individual activities. This “all or nothing” example generally is a solution that meets no one’s needs in the end.
Consider this as a bottom-line. Couples need to establish or negotiate an agreement about individual leisure time. With an agreement in place, a couple remains strong. Permission slips will not have a place in their relationship.
This is my story and I’m sticking to it. For now——
Regards,
Dr. Coach Love
MORE INFO LINKS: Posts- Pt1 2-22-08, Pt2 2-23-08
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